the little pumpkin that cried: a tale of a two-month old.

Hi friends!  I sincerely apologize for the radio silence around here lately.  Every day/week I have high hopes of making a blog post but you know.  Other stuff just gets in the way…. baby, laundry, episodes of The Voice, yadda yadda yadda.

But if we’re being honest here, the real reason I haven’t posted lately is that we’ve had a difficult last few weeks.  We’re not 100% sure why yet but for the past month, Crosby has been upset and crying.  Like, all the time.  And it’s been exhausting and defeating trying to find out why.  We’ve been doing research and of course everyone has an opinion on what’s going on with him… lactation consultants have been consulted (it’s a foremilk/hindmilk imbalance!), family and friends have been questioned (it’s colic! call a chiropractor! allergies!), google has been pillaged (your baby has some incurable disease!)…  and the latest diagnosis from our pediatrician is that our little dude likely has acid reflux.  We’ve started him on some medication and fingers crossed that this is the answer we’ve been looking for.

Because honestly guys?  It’s been really hard.  Yes, it’s exhausting and frustrating and LOUD.  But by far the worst part is seeing my little guy so sad and not knowing why or what I can do make him feel better.  It seems unnatural that I can’t immediately figure it out and fix it for him.  I guess I should get used to that feeling?  Many days I feel like all I do, all day long, is attempt to stop him from crying.  I keep searching for THE solution to soothe him (he likes it when you swaddle him with this blanket, hold him at a 45 degree angle, bounce at a rate of 2 up-and-downs per second, while running the vacuum cleaner, rubbing your stomach and patting your head...) but what works once never seems to work again.  And even when I do manage to calm him, I get anxiety waiting for him to start crying again.  Sigh.  Hold me.

I learned very early on, actually during Crosby’s birth, to throw all my expectations out the window.  Because things are not ever going to go the way I imagined them to.  But still, it’s hard to not feel a little bummed that our baby’s second month has been so hard.  Especially when I see other moms and babies who seem to have it all together.  I find myself getting jealous of friends who post pictures of their happy, smiling babies on Facebook or Instagram… I envy the other moms in baby class whose little one’s lay happily on their backs without screaming bloody murder… I even resent the perfect babies on the diaper commercials who just smile and giggle up at their stupid perfect mothers.  Sidenote: wouldn’t it be great if diaper commercials were realistic?  Like, instead of showing a picture-perfect mother cuddling her stylish newborn on a white couch while wearing a beige sweater set, they should show a woman in her sweatpants and bra, her hair held up by a chip clip, softly singing Hall & Oates “Maneater” to her baby who is juuuust about to fall asleep inside a padded laundry basket that she’s been jiggling just so for the last 20 minutes, until her dogs bark at the mailman and then the baby wakes up, shits his pants and starts screaming. Or you know, whatever.

Where was I?  Ahh yes, jealousy.  I’m working on letting it go.  I found a quote from Teddy Roosevelt the other day that I love, which is “comparison is the thief of joy”.  Hashtag truth.  I’ve been repeating it to myself lately whenever I find myself envying another parent or baby.  Because I know that every single one of them has something they’re dealing with.  Or will deal with.  And it’s probably much much worse than what we’re working through.  And even if it’s not, I shouldn’t compare our story to theirs.

So now is when I reassure you that it’s not all whomp whomp over here.  Promise.  The afternoons and evenings can be rough but Crosby is actually a pretty happy baby in the morning.  And in between meltdowns, we’ve had a lot of fun with our chubby little guy.  He actually started to smile two weeks ago.  If you ever want to hear the most deranged sounds come out of a grown woman’s mouth, watch her see her baby smile for the first time.  I’m pretty sure the first time I saw it, I regurgitated a foghorn…  and then I burst into tears because hormones.  It was pure joy.  We also celebrated Casey’s 30th birthday.  (!!!OLD!!)  And Crosby had his very first non-family-member babysitter.  (Thanks Rebecca!  So sorry Crosby’s 5-day constipation streak ended on your watch…)  We also just had my mom and stepdad here visiting last week, which I am HOPING to write a separate post about very soon.  (At the rate I’m going, you can expect to see it here in about 3-7 months.  Stay tuned.)  And of course, we got to experience Crosby’s first Halloween!  We kicked off the day at the doctor’s office… I’m an asshole and scheduled Crosby’s 2-month shots on Halloween morning.  Apparently I couldn’t wait to expose my child to his first Halloween scare.  Luckily Cros took the shots like a champ and then was alarmingly chill the rest of the day.  Chill enough to wear his costume and not cry through a Halloween party at Casey’s office.  I’m slightly disappointed in myself for not putting together a more creative costume for him… homemade costumes are usually my jam, but this year a $6 consignment store pumpkin suit was too perfect to pass up.  Wanna see?

shawnnathompson_halloween_6 shawnnathompson_halloween_5 shawnnathompson_halloween_4 shawnnathompson_halloween_3shawnnathompson_halloween_7 shawnnathompson_halloween_2Heart explosion.

SO that’s what we’ve been up to lately!  Here’s hoping the meds work and I’ll be back here again soon with stories of happiness, more smiles, and poop.  There will always be poop.

14 thoughts on “the little pumpkin that cried: a tale of a two-month old.

  1. Disheartening yet heartwarming. You draw a remarkable picture every time!!
    I’m so sorry for Crosby’s struggles; however, he couldn’t be in better hands! You are an amazing, patient, and caring mommy. I truly enjoy watching you love him through it all. The trying times will be cherished memories some day:)
    Love you all.

  2. You’re doing a great job mommy. When I read your blog. I find myself jealous of you. While reading, I laugh. I cry. Then I crumble when I see the pictures. I hope the medicine works and works soon.

  3. Aw, that sounds like a hard couple weeks. But I bet you’re doing a damn good job mama.

    ps. I love your blog posts.

  4. They worked for Elliott. Oh what a time you have had. It will get better. You are a great mom and Dad. Happy birthday to Casey. Old is right but you and Jess are coming around the corner soon. His outfit is very appropriate and looks warm and comfy. Hang in the girl.

    1. I didn’t know Elliott had reflux! These silly boys… Thanks for the sweet comment, we’re excited to see you guys next month! xo

  5. Hi, I work with your Mom and read your blog. My daughter 8 mo. has reflux. I could actually smell it on her when she was little. After a month of not knowing what was going on. I finally got her on Zantac. I cannot begin to describe the difference in her. I also found that small feedings and elevating her bed helped a lot too. I just put a pillow under the head of the mattress. My Zoey actually has lactose intolerance too. So i eventually quit breastfeeding (to my sadness) i couldn’t figure out what i needed to eliminate from my diet. I did however find out that chocolate and caffine made her reflux a lot worse. Just thought i would share. BTW you have a beautiful family and I love your blogs. you are so funny. Take care and remember it does get better. Zoey is not having her meds increased anymore so i think that flap by the esophagus is getting stronger. I’m sure your little guys will too in time. Take care.

    1. Hi Hillary! Thanks for the message, and the suggestions! It’s nice to get input from those who have been through this before. It gives me hope! Though I really hope I don’t have to give up my caffeine… ;) I hope things have gotten better for you and zoey! Thanks again!

  6. Hi Thompsons,

    First off…what a handsome little guy you have created! Can’t wait to meet him over the holidays.
    Secondly I am here to tell you ” this to shall pass”. I can tell you first hand there was never a more colicky baby then your cousin Olivia. ( there are Van Keulen videos to prove it…. thanksgiving , Christmas, lots of background crying going on and shots of her being carried and bounced by all her aunts, uncles, and G-parents) She literally cried from morning until night for the first 3 1/2 months of her life, and then just like that, it was done. She morphed from being the fussiest baby to the sweetest. The easiest baby from then on, even as a toddler. We thought we were the most amazing parents. Our child was so well behaved, “wow we most real y be good at this”…lured us into trying it again! Little did we know it really had nothing to do with us. She just happens to be a very mellow, laid back kinda gal! But back to the colic… Heres the good news, it rarely lasts longer then 3 months…. it doesn’t mean your bad parents, it is a good weight loss program ( all those miles walked while bouncing a baby), and you will, believe it or not, look back on this and laugh one day, about all the crazy things you tried to do to calm this poor little person.
    I’ve always said parenthood is the greatest joy and the biggest heartache you will ever experience.( which you have already discovered) Welcome to the club :)
    So hang in there better days are ahead. There’s no doubt in my mind you two will be the most amazing parents.
    Love you, Aunt Cheryl

    1. Hi Auntie Cheryl! Thanks so much for the message – I really really appreciate your words of support. I had no idea that Olivia was so colicky! I have to say that it sounds like you had it much worse than we do! Bless your heart. Luckily, the meds seem to be working for Crosby… we think. I’m cautious to get my hopes up… But I hear that 3-4 months is the sweet spot where everything turns around, and luckily 3 months is just around the corner. So fingers crossed he’ll be nothing but smiles by the time we come home for Christmas. Thanks again for your note – love you!

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