Tag Archives: teething

fall slumps and reindeer pj’s.

Oh hey, remember me?  In the middle?  Heh heh.  Just a little blog humor to rev the engines.  Vroom vroom.  Fasten your seatbelts.

Sorry, I’m a little rusty.

There’s something about this time of year, every year that makes me fall into a slump.  I mean, yah, fall is supremely lovely for a couple of weeks… but then daylight savings ends and the sky turns perma-gray and the beautiful golden leaves turn into a brown mush that sticks to my dog’s paws and I find myself wanting to lay face down on a pile of wine every day by 4pm.  Eh, more like 3pm.  I mean, 2pm.  Ok fine, noon.  10am.  Breakfast.  Mimosas.  Blood Mary’s.  Margaritas.  Mojitos!

What were we talking about?

Unmotivated.  Is probably the best way to describe it.  Unmotivated to do anything other than the bare minimum.  And this year is especially punchy because I now have an extremely active little person to keep entertained/alive amidst the seasonal slump.  The last thing I want is for him to feel slumpy.  Nothing worse than a slumpy toddler.  Except maybe a teething toddler.  Or a sick toddler.  Or a tantruming toddler.  AKA Crosby last Tuesday.  But anyways!  Sheesh.  The point of all this is not to complain but to explain where I’ve been the last couple of weeks.  Which is, knee-deep in a vat of merlot with a toddler on my hip.  I’m JUST kidding.  It’s pinot.

I just read ^^all that^^ back and I sound like a Grumpy McWhinerson.  I promise it hasn’t been all doom and gloom around these parts.  Despite the fall slump, I must say that we are having more fun than ever with our little Crosboy.  (Yes, he was officially promoted from Crosbaby to Crosboy. And I have the gray hairs to prove it.)  This age is crazytown, but in the best possible way.  He’s understanding so much now (note to self: must stop swearing) and it’s so freaking cute to literally watch him learn things.  He’s waving, high-fiving, blowing kisses, dancing… all the ridiculously cute toddler tricks that are probably responsible for the conception of many second children.  (#notyet)   Right now, Cros is sitting quietly on the floor, paging through an upside down Men’s Health magazine.  Bedhead, reindeer pj’s, crusty boogers.  The works.  He’s my favorite.

And yes, I said reindeer pj’s.  Because it’s practically Home Alone/Christmas Vacation season!  Gah!  Who’s excited?  For any fellow Home Alone lovers, I just found out that it’s the 25th anniversary and apparently the movie was playing in select theaters for just two days… and I missed it.  Cue the sobbing emoji.  Did anyone go and see it?  I also discovered that there is a new illustrated book based on the movie.  Coughwouldmakeagreatchristmasgiftcough.  When my mom and I were in New York last month (which I will post about if I can ever figure how to get my computer and my camera to be friends again…) we were in Washington Square Park and there was a legit pigeon guy who would throw a giant handful of bird seed and hundreds of pigeons would flock to him.  It was so bizarre but I kept thinking that he and the HA2 pigeon lady would make a very handsome couple.  “Take the turtle doveshhhh”.

Ok welp, randomness is my middle name so I hope you expected nothing less from this blog post.  Me, out.

those two weeks when my kid grew teeth and learned to crawl.

Good Monday to ya!  I’d like to welcome myself back to the blog, seeing as how I’ve been MIA since I was a wee 30.0 year old.  I really didn’t mean for 2+ weeks to slip by before coming back here but I have a good excuse, I swear.  And that excuse is two tiny teeth that now take up residence inside little Crosby’s mouth – the first step to dentures in many, many years!  Teething is no joke, my friends.  But you moms already knew that didn’t you?  Of course you did, you even warned me about it but I just sort of shrugged it off like I did most advice I was given pre-baby.  Teething is just another one of those situations with babies that you really can’t understand unless you’re in it.  Like, really in it.  Like, hunkered down with a refrigerated teething toy in one hand, a tissue in another, and a glass of wine balancing in the crook of your arm.  Because survival.  In all honesty, Crosby has been handling teething pretty well.  Under his layers of snot and in between his dramatic sob sessions, he’s still a happy little guy.  And I can’t really complain too hard about having to get up to give him a few extra snuggles at night.  Or butt pats.  Crosby is all about the butt pats.  (For you non-parents, a butt pat is when you pat a baby’s butt.  Don’t say I never taught you anything.)

In other news, a couple of nights ago I woke up in the middle of the night with all these great ideas for blog posts.  I knew I’d forget them as soon as I fell back asleep so I quickly typed them into my iphone notes before nodding off again.  Great idea in theory, but when I looked at them the next morning I could not make sense out of a single thing I wrote down.  I remember that I didn’t put my glasses on when I typed them in, which is a rookie move on my part.  Regardless, these notes…I don’t know what I was thinking…  Help me, won’t you?

The first note says “Csection conx”.  Besides sounding slightly unsavory, I don’t know what it means.  Maybe I wanted to start a support group called the C-section Connection?  Or maybe I meant c-section cons?  In which case…. I still don’t know what that means.  How boring would a blog post about the cons of c-sections be?  Just like, ask your doctor.  I don’t know, anyways.  The next note says “change from diaper n the middle”.  Again, ??????  I don’t even know if I want to make sense of that one.  The third note says “Update: coffee tea formula”.  Which obviously means I finally perfected my coffee, tea and formula beverage…?  Or whatever.  (I was pretty impressed with the use of a colon on that one, though.)  The last one says “photo an hour” and I think I know what this one means.  I remember seeing a photo challenge somewhere where you take one photo every (waking) hour for a whole day.  Then you can sort of display them as all as play-by-play of your day.  So I’m guessing I thought it’d be fun to do a blog post like that?  Which, I don’t know, would it?  I personally am super interested in hearing about other people’s daily routines.  Or maybe I’m just nosey.  Anyway, I might try it later this week.  And if it’s stimulating enough, I’ll post the photos here.  As for the rest of those stellar ideas, I think I’ll pass.  Unless anyone is interested in learning more about the inner workings of csection conx?  Or maybe the plural of conx is conxes?  Conxi?  Conxen?  I’ll consult my unconscious self and get back to you on that one.

Other haps.  Crosby started crawling today during our baby music class.  He’s been army crawling/planking/downward dogging like cray for the past few weeks but today was the first time he legit crawled.  Onto another baby girl’s blanket.  Kid’s got game, is what it is.  Also, send help.

Speaking of which, one of my other mama friends gave me a run down of all the things I should probably do to babyproof our house.  And it’s extensive.  Prior to that I’d only thought of plugging the outlets with those plastic thingies.  Which I did last week, and felt super accomplished btw.  Anyways, she sent me a babyproofing list, I started sweating, and then I made the executive decision to instead just wrap Crosby up in bubble wrap everyday.  So what I’m saying is, does anyone have a coupon to Office Depot because I’m going to need a lot of bubble wrap.  Also, send help.

Also, I’m out of wine.  Seriously, SEND HELP.

Ok byeeee.