Dogs are expensive. And let me tell you why. It’s not just because of their food (although that shiz is craycray expensive), or all their toys (even though my dog has a toy box that would rival most childrens’) or even the vet bills (but seriously, my dog should have his own HSA account). Nope, it’s because my dog actually eats money. For reals. Gus actually owes me more than $22. And I’m fairly certain he has no intention of paying me back anytime soon.
What happened was Casey and I went out to drinks with a friend who was in town visiting. One drink turned into all drinks and by the time we got home we were pretty “tired”. So we brought the pup to bed (yes, he sleeps with us, underneath the covers to be exact) and immediately crashed. But apparently Gus wasn’t ready to let the party be over though because he waited until we fell asleep and jumped off the bed, went through my purse, located my wallet, pulled out my cash and proceeded to eat it. $22 of it. Well, I guess technically it was about $21.60 based on the amount of scraps left over on the carpet.
First of all, how rude!? Second of all, that sucks. $22 is no huge amount of money, but it could definitely have bought me a bloody mary to cure my morning-after haze. That morning I definitely did a google search for “what to do when your dog eats your money”… Yah, that was weird. Thankfully I’m not this person, although kudos to them for actually taping poo money back together. Anyways, my search told me that I was pretty much screwed and there’s no “dog ate my homework” clause from the US Mint to get my money back. Basically my only option was to sift through his “deposits” (heyo!) to scrounge up pieces of the digested money. Yah, no. Thanks a lot Uncle Sam.
Bottom line, I have no hope for getting my money back. Waa. But the next time I owe someone money I plan to toss them my dog and call it even.