Tag Archives: pump

shit parents say: volume 1.

IMG_3947Hi buddies!  TGIF and stuff.  To kick off the weekend, I thought I’d share some quotes from the front lines of parenthood.  As a mama of a newborn, it’s ridiculous the things that come out of my mouth sometimes.  What’s more ridiculous is how accustomed both Casey and I have become to talking about certain things.  SO, I decided it was time to document some of the shit we’ve said since becoming parents, you know, for future reference.  Some of these are embarrassing, others are funny, and all of them are #parentingforreal.

You’re welcome.  I’m sorry.  God bless.

Here we go!

“Oh man, I have poop under my fingernail again.”

“I’m supposed to pump until my boobs get floppy.”

“I can’t wait to tell our baby that I was his first french kiss.”

“See this spot on my shirt? It’s either breastmilk, poop, or yogurt.”

“Did he poop or fart?  Check with your hand.”

“Where is my lactation tea?!”

“Make sure the dog doesn’t eat his poop again.”

“I just poked him in the eye with my nipple.”

“It looked like peanut butter.  Light green peanut butter.”

“My right boob is 5 times the size of my left right now.”

(while applying diaper cream) “I think I just accidentally gave him a boner.”

The end.

Are we still friends?

Feel free to share some of your parent-isms below.  And happy weekend!