Tag Archives: poop

friday things.

:: casually sidesteps the awkward fact that she hasn’t blogged in 3 months… ::

1. Both of my kids are currently napping at the same time!  This doesn’t happen very often but when it does, I freak out about all the “free time” I have and then spend an inappropriate amount of time debating what I should do with said “free time”, which ends up being just a big fat waste of the “free time”!  I could take a nap too, but the few times I’ve tried that during the elusive double kid nap, I barely fall asleep before I’m woken up by human foghorns and then I just end up feeling like a piece of old sushi for the rest of the day. (<— what.)  I also kind of want to just watch TV or read a book or something… but I’m not currently into any shows (any recos?) and the book I’m reading is about parenting so that’s super boring.  (ha.)  I usually just end up doing chores… laundry, emptying the dishwasher, washing wine glasses, etc. etc.  But that stuff sucks, so today I’m letting the dishes sit in the sink so I can go back to my roots and do some good old-fashioned blogging on the interwebs.  Excuse me while I dust off my Mario Teaches Typing skills.

2.  annnnnnnd Crosby just woke up, so I’ll see ya again in 5 months!

**I’m back.  It’s 3 weeks later.  ::facepalm::

So let’s just try to get through this quickly, shall we?  (That’s what she said.) ((Sorry, I’m a little rusty.)) (((That’s what she said.))) ((((Ugh.))))

3. We FINALLY found and moved into our new house last month.  It’s a sweet bungalow in South Minneapolis, and we are absolutely, 100% loving it.  Eh…. make that 99%….. I just found some weird bugs in Willa’s room and I’m a little squicked out.

4. We took a family vacation to San Diego with my mom, stepdad, brothers + their fams a few weeks ago and it was super fun… we truly had a blast.  However.  A “vacation” with two small children…. can we actually call that a vacation?  It’s kind of like everyday life, in a different setting, doing much more exciting errands.  Actually, this old Huff Post article sums up my feelings prettttty perfectly.  No but seriously, we had a great time.  And if I had my shit together better I would have written a whole post about it with lots of photos… instead you’ll just have to use your imagination to picture us building Crosby a potty (AKA large hole) in the sand so we wouldn’t have to leave the beach to find a bathroom.

5. I wrote an article for a website a few years ago when we first moved to Portland about how hard it is to make friends as an adult.  And many years later, I feel like I’m reliving that yet again.  Don’t get me wrong, some of our very best friends in the whole world live within an hour or two of us right now, which is baller.  (<—- stop.)  But not many of them live super close by.  Like, bop on over for a quick playdate or a glass of wine close by.  So I’m still very much feeling the growing pains of moving to a “new” city.  I really haven’t made any new friends since we got back here and I’m kinda just like… howwwww do I do this?  Is there a dating site for making friends??  If so, ugh, no thanks… that actually sounds awful.  I’ll just have a drink by mahself.

6. Speaking of, I miss Portland daily.  That place has a large chunk of my heart.  And my stomach, actually. If someone could send me a pound of Stumptown, a salmon flight from Bamboo, a khati roll from Bollywood, some salted caramel ice cream from Salt & Straw, a Loukanika salami from Olympic Provisions, a bottle case of wine from Stoller, chicken wings from Pok Pok, an Arbor Lodge breakfast sandwich from The Big Egg, a poke bowl from Zupans, and all of my Portland friends, that’d be great!  (I promise I won’t eat my friends, though.)

7.  I really really love my dogs.  But I really REALLY enjoyed having a 3-month break from them.  I REALLY REALLY appreciate my in-laws for babysitting them for 3 months while we looked for a house.  I REALLY REALLY REALLY need to purchase some lint roller refills.

**Was interrupted by kiddos again.  It’s 4 days later, BTW.

8. Remember in Dumb & Dumber when Jim Carrey asks that guy if he wants to hear the most annoying sound in the world?  Well, my sweet Willa has perfected that sound.  Like, to a T.  She usually whips it out during the witching hour when all hell is already breaking loose.  It’s suuuuuper precious.

9. Speaking of my sweet Bill (unfortunate nickname that she’s stuck with, sorry gurl!), she is almost 8 MONTHS OLD.  Please excuse me while I sob into her newborn pj’s.  And my little Crosboy is going to be 3 in August.  How.  Why.  Etcetera.  Seriously though, I feel like time has flown by since we moved here.  Yet, somehow I haven’t aged a day.  :: she says as she tucks her boobs into her jeans and plucks a gray hair out of her eyebrow. ::

10. The other day Crosby pooped in the potty and wiped himself… with his hand.  And then wiped his hand on the wall.  I’m just going to leave you with that little visual.

Have a great day!

thursday things.

1. There’s a reason chip bags are made out of that super loud crinkly material… it’s for fools like me who try to “sneak” a bowl of chips in the middle of the night and wake up their whole family in the process. It’s like the bag is shouting at me.  And shaming me.  They should make the bags out of extra soft cotton so that us lost souls can enjoy the pleasure of artificial flavors and red dye #40 without alerting the whole neighborhood… and then when we’re done stuffing our faces we can use the bag to wipe our tears when we realize how many dog walks it’ll take to work off the calories.

2. This is really hard for me to admit, so I’m just going to come out and say it. Ok, here it goes. I’m officially a fan of Justin Bieber. It’s really not my fault though, the dude just keeps dropping banger after banger and my ear holes can’t get enough. Help. Why.

3. Crosby’s newest word is poop. He’s started to say it while he’s actually pooping (#genius) and I’m sorry, but it’s seriously so cute. Especially because he pronounces it like “pppppoop!”, which sounds like a high-pitched horse noise. Is the best way I can think of to describe it.

4. Do you guys watch the Bachelor? This made me lol.

5. Here’s something.  There are two brothers in Crosby’s music class whose names are Gus and Teddy.  Which is mildly hilarious because our dogs names are Gus and Eddie… and we often times call Eddie, Teddy or Tedward. Is this a funny thing that I can share with their mom? Or is it awkward? I obviously love the names, for dogs or children, so I think it’s ok. Thoughts?

6. The other night, Casey poured us each a glass of wine and left them on the kitchen counter while we got Crosby ready for bed. And somehow when we weren’t looking Crosby climbed up onto his wooden tower stool, grabbed one of the glasses and dumped it all over himself and the kitchen. Parenting Fail.  Crosby was totally fine and everything was semi-easily cleaned… but there was definitely a moment as I was applying OxiClean to my toddlers wine-soaked sweatshirt that I questioned my parenting skills.

7. The only silver lining to that wine spill was that I got to use my brand new washing machine to clean Crosby’s clothes! You know you’re adulting real hard when getting a new washing machine is the highlight of your month. The night that it was delivered and installed, I put the first load in and sat on the floor in front of it and watched the clothes spin for a while. I could literally see my last few shreds of street cred being washed away in a warm high-efficiency spin cycle.

8. Speaking of home appliances… lately Casey has been obsessed with kitchen gadgets. Not like, refrigerators and stoves, but smaller little appliances that he thinks will save our souls. And I could honestly get on board with most of the stuff he wants, except for the fact that: 1. I don’t crap money and 2. We only have one outlet in our kitchen (our house is old as balls) which means that anything with a cord is squished onto one little countertop and it drives me apeshit bananatown if there are too many things cluttering it up. Anyways, just last week our toaster crapped out on us so Casey finally conquered his life-long dream of owning a toaster oven.  So I thought he’d be settled on the kitchen appliance front for a while. But no, no no. This week he’s decided we need a food scale AND something called a souve? I don’t even know.

9. Yesterday I was cutting up a pineapple and I had myself a little daydream about the person who was in charge of naming it. I imagine their thought process went a little something like this….  Hoooo-eeee!  This is delicious!  What’s it made of?  Pine?  Hmmmm…nope.  Does it have apple in it?  Don’t think so.  Ooh ooh!  I’ve got it!  We’ll call it pineapple!  ::pats self on the back:: / ::gets fired::

10. I’m heading to Las Vegas next weekend with my besties and I’m so so so excited! Though I’ve mentally started to pack my bag, and am now realizing that I am in no way prepared for Vegas. Unless it’s changed since the last time I was there. Tell me, are converse and raincoats and day-3 hair considered acceptable Vegas clubbing attire?

shit parents say: volume 2.

Crosby turned 7 months old this past weekend, which is crazy, exciting, bittersweet, etcetera etcetera. I thought 6 months was great, but 7 takes the cake.  It’s so true what everyone keeps telling us, it just keeps getting better and better.  Crosby smiles and giggles more every single day.  He still hasn’t mastered sitting but he is army crawling like a boss.  He babbles adorably and hits Mariah Carey-decibel high notes when he screeches.  He is interacting with the dogs more than ever, though the dogs aren’t really fans of his grabby hands.  They ARE, however, fans of his grubby hands, and of all the food he drops on the floor from the high chair as we explore the world of solids.

I could blubber on and on about how cool my little man is.  But for y’alls sake, I won’t.  Instead, in honor of this milestone, I bring you another edition of “shit parents say”.  These are just a few of the ridiculous things Casey and I have found ourselves saying over the past few months.  No surprise, still lots of talk of poop, boobs and toots.  Basically all the double o’s. (<—- Which could probably be added to the list…. )

So here we go!  shit parents say: volume dos.

“I found a piece of my hair in his dirty diaper, should I be concerned?”

“I just want to eat his face with a spoon!”

“What happened to the Baby Einstein Pandora station?”

“OMG buddy, I could have sworn you pooped but I guess it was just a really bad fart.”  (said by Casey almost every single day while checking Crosby’s diaper.)

“Make sure to wash his hands really well, I’m pretty sure he was carrying around a booger all day.”

“Sometimes I feel like if I let you look at my boobs, then I’m cheating on Crosby.”

“Who cares what I’m wearing… what’s Crosby going to wear??”

“Make sure to wipe under his balls, there is always poop caught up there.”

“There’s a piece of carrot in his ear.  He had carrot 2 days ago.”

(at bedtime) “Ok Cros, time to put on your pjizzles!  ….Wait….that definitely doesn’t sound right.”

“My boobs are exhausted.”
The end.
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Happy 7 months, baby guy.  I love you times a million.  But for your sake, I hope you never read this. xo
And in case you missed it, read shit parents say: volume 1 here.

shit parents say: volume 1.

IMG_3947Hi buddies!  TGIF and stuff.  To kick off the weekend, I thought I’d share some quotes from the front lines of parenthood.  As a mama of a newborn, it’s ridiculous the things that come out of my mouth sometimes.  What’s more ridiculous is how accustomed both Casey and I have become to talking about certain things.  SO, I decided it was time to document some of the shit we’ve said since becoming parents, you know, for future reference.  Some of these are embarrassing, others are funny, and all of them are #parentingforreal.

You’re welcome.  I’m sorry.  God bless.

Here we go!

“Oh man, I have poop under my fingernail again.”

“I’m supposed to pump until my boobs get floppy.”

“I can’t wait to tell our baby that I was his first french kiss.”

“See this spot on my shirt? It’s either breastmilk, poop, or yogurt.”

“Did he poop or fart?  Check with your hand.”

“Where is my lactation tea?!”

“Make sure the dog doesn’t eat his poop again.”

“I just poked him in the eye with my nipple.”

“It looked like peanut butter.  Light green peanut butter.”

“My right boob is 5 times the size of my left right now.”

(while applying diaper cream) “I think I just accidentally gave him a boner.”

The end.

Are we still friends?

Feel free to share some of your parent-isms below.  And happy weekend!

things i swore i’d never do. and some holiday photos!

shawnnathompson_holidayphotos_2I’ve been meaning to share a few of the sweet pics that our lovely photographer friend Christy took a while back.  (Christy also took Crosby’s newborn photos, a whopping 4.5 months ago. Can you believe?!  Excuse me while I go weep in the corner.)  We had planned this little shoot a month or so before the holidays so we could get a photo to use for our first ever family Christmas card.

Here are my thoughts on Christmas cards, if you’d like to hear them.  I’ve always thought they were kind of silly.  In this day and age of Facebook and Instagram and iPhones and blogs (hey!), I feel like there are ample opportunities to see pictures of your friends and family at any time, if you so choose.  So I used to think, really what’s the point of sending people a picture of yourself that you’ll probably post to social media anyways?  I don’t know, is that Grinchy of me?  Maybe.  But the point is that I certainly never intended on sending one.  But then, I had a kid… and I changed my mind.  Probably because I’ll take any opportunity to show him off, is the honest truth.  So I get it now, I totally understand why people send out Christmas cards.  I am one of those people now.  Hello my name is Shawnna, and I’m a Christmas card sender-outer.  I even thought of a theme for us to follow every year – choosing a Christmas song lyric and taking a photo inspired by it.  #cheesymccheeserson Who knows how long we’ll keep up that tradition, but so far we’ve done it every year since Crosby was born.

So does sending out a Christmas card make me a hypocrite?  Yes, yes it does.  But you know, it’s whatever.  Parenthood makes you feel and do strange things.  In facto, there are loads of other things I do now that I swore I wouldn’t when I became a parent.  Like speaking to Crosby in a baby voice (sometimes I do try talking to him in my normal voice, but it makes me feel like an asshole)…. or using my saliva to clean something off his face (convenient. effective. efficient.) …. and smelling his butt when we’re in public to see if he pooped (sometimes the difference between a fart and a poop can be catastrophic).

Well that got weird quickly.

Our holiday photos!  Was the point of this blog post.  Off you go.

Crosby's Holiday Photos (012 of 050)Crosby's Holiday Photos (023 of 050)shawnnathompson_holidayphotos_3 Crosby's Holiday Photos (021 of 050)Crosby's Holiday Photos (025 of 050)shawnnathompson_holidayphotos_1 Crosby's Holiday Photos (030 of 050) shawnnathompson_holidayphotos_5shawnnathompson_holidayphotos_7 shawnnathompson_holidayphotos_4Crosby's Holiday Photos (044 of 050)shawnnathompson_holidayphotos_6Crosby's Holiday Photos (034 of 050)shawnnathompson_holidayphotos_8shawnnathompson_holidayphotos_9And here is our actual Christmas card… if you care to scroll just an inch further…
Screen Shot 2015-01-14 at 1.51.53 PM“Everyone! Come see how cute my baby is!”, said the Christmas card convert.

Now I’m curious, what things did you swear you’d never do as a parent?  Or am I the only hypocrite around these parts….?


…? Bueller…….?