1. There’s a reason chip bags are made out of that super loud crinkly material… it’s for fools like me who try to “sneak” a bowl of chips in the middle of the night and wake up their whole family in the process. It’s like the bag is shouting at me. And shaming me. They should make the bags out of extra soft cotton so that us lost souls can enjoy the pleasure of artificial flavors and red dye #40 without alerting the whole neighborhood… and then when we’re done stuffing our faces we can use the bag to wipe our tears when we realize how many dog walks it’ll take to work off the calories.
2. This is really hard for me to admit, so I’m just going to come out and say it. Ok, here it goes. I’m officially a fan of Justin Bieber. It’s really not my fault though, the dude just keeps dropping banger after banger and my ear holes can’t get enough. Help. Why.
3. Crosby’s newest word is poop. He’s started to say it while he’s actually pooping (#genius) and I’m sorry, but it’s seriously so cute. Especially because he pronounces it like “pppppoop!”, which sounds like a high-pitched horse noise. Is the best way I can think of to describe it.
4. Do you guys watch the Bachelor? This made me lol.
5. Here’s something. There are two brothers in Crosby’s music class whose names are Gus and Teddy. Which is mildly hilarious because our dogs names are Gus and Eddie… and we often times call Eddie, Teddy or Tedward. Is this a funny thing that I can share with their mom? Or is it awkward? I obviously love the names, for dogs or children, so I think it’s ok. Thoughts?
6. The other night, Casey poured us each a glass of wine and left them on the kitchen counter while we got Crosby ready for bed. And somehow when we weren’t looking Crosby climbed up onto his wooden tower stool, grabbed one of the glasses and dumped it all over himself and the kitchen. Parenting Fail. Crosby was totally fine and everything was semi-easily cleaned… but there was definitely a moment as I was applying OxiClean to my toddlers wine-soaked sweatshirt that I questioned my parenting skills.
7. The only silver lining to that wine spill was that I got to use my brand new washing machine to clean Crosby’s clothes! You know you’re adulting real hard when getting a new washing machine is the highlight of your month. The night that it was delivered and installed, I put the first load in and sat on the floor in front of it and watched the clothes spin for a while. I could literally see my last few shreds of street cred being washed away in a warm high-efficiency spin cycle.
8. Speaking of home appliances… lately Casey has been obsessed with kitchen gadgets. Not like, refrigerators and stoves, but smaller little appliances that he thinks will save our souls. And I could honestly get on board with most of the stuff he wants, except for the fact that: 1. I don’t crap money and 2. We only have one outlet in our kitchen (our house is old as balls) which means that anything with a cord is squished onto one little countertop and it drives me apeshit bananatown if there are too many things cluttering it up. Anyways, just last week our toaster crapped out on us so Casey finally conquered his life-long dream of owning a toaster oven. So I thought he’d be settled on the kitchen appliance front for a while. But no, no no. This week he’s decided we need a food scale AND something called a souve? I don’t even know.
9. Yesterday I was cutting up a pineapple and I had myself a little daydream about the person who was in charge of naming it. I imagine their thought process went a little something like this…. Hoooo-eeee! This is delicious! What’s it made of? Pine? Hmmmm…nope. Does it have apple in it? Don’t think so. Ooh ooh! I’ve got it! We’ll call it pineapple! ::pats self on the back:: / ::gets fired::
10. I’m heading to Las Vegas next weekend with my besties and I’m so so so excited! Though I’ve mentally started to pack my bag, and am now realizing that I am in no way prepared for Vegas. Unless it’s changed since the last time I was there. Tell me, are converse and raincoats and day-3 hair considered acceptable Vegas clubbing attire?