Tag Archives: boobs

friday things.

1. I’m sure I’ve said this a million times on the blog, but this stage of Crosby is so much fun. His little personality is the very best. Lately whenever I tell him I love him he responds with “doo doo”. Which… when I type it out, it looks… weird. But he says it in this sweet little voice like he thinks he’s telling me he loves me back. It breaks my heart and makes me so happy all at the same time.

2. Speaking of doodoo. You know what I realized the other day? No matter how much I boss around or scold or command my dogs, at the end the of the day, I’m the one that has to pick up their shit. So who really IS the boss in this equation?

3. I was talking to a girlfriend earlier about the physical feeling of relief that I sometimes get when I finally put Crosby to sleep for the night.  Especially if it’s been a doozy of a day.  It’s like as soon as I shut his door for the night, my entire body releases all this tension that I didn’t even know I had.  You know?  …Oh, you don’t know?  I’m just an awful parent who gets a little high from putting her kid to bed?  Ok, bye.

4. Casey and I and a couple of our friends went to see the play Annie on Broadway the other night.  I was obsessed with that movie as a little person, so of course I loved seeing it live.  Casey and our guy friend weren’t quite as enthused, though they did perk up during “hard knock life” and were both like hey, this is a jay-z song! We’re a well cultured bunch.

5. I mentioned this on the Facebooks a few weeks ago, but Casey and I are going to Europe next month! Oui oui bonjour baguette mademoiselle! (They’re going to hate me over there) One of my best friends is getting married in Paris (!!!) so we’ll be spending time there and in Amsterdam. I’m so so excited to go but also nervous to leave Crosby for that long/that far away. I’ve taken a few trips without him over the past year but this one is a bit more significant. I mean, there will be an ocean between us! And probably bays and estuaries and wetlands and other things! I just have to stay focused on the positives. Which are… best friends, baguettes, croissants, and cheese. Now please dear friends, if you’ve been to either of these places, tell me what we should do while we’re there. Please and thank you! S’il vous plait and merci!

6. I know we’re really late to the game here, but we’ve finally started (binge) watching Homeland. Oh man guys, it’s so good! But also… it gives me terrorism/bombing/ugly pantsuits anxiety. (No but really, Claire Danes’ pantsuits are real bad.) Anyway, the Homeland anxiety was really getting to me, to the point that I was having nightmares and had to request that we put it on hold until we come back from our Europe trip. I’m ridiculous.

7. I finally busted out my maternity jeans for the first time last weekend. This pregnancy has me growing outward bound MUCH faster than the first one. But let’s be honest… maternity jeans are so mother-effing comfortable, I’m not too mad about it. Though I have this theory that maternity pants make me look much more pregnant than regular pants. Does anyone else feel this way? Why is that?? Does the belly panel act as a push-up bra for your belly? Or something? Must look into this…

8. Speaking of bras… My boobs have gone up 2 sizes already during this pregnancy.  In case you were curious.

9. And speaking of buns in the oven.  I had a thought the other day when I was figuring out what to make for dinner.  See, we had hotdog buns, but no hotdogs.  And ground beef, but no hamburger buns.  And as I was considering if I should pull a Steve Martin, I wondered, has anyone in this same situation ever just formed their hamburgers into hotdog-like shapes?  It seems like a win/win to me…

10. I’ll just go ahead and stop talking now.



shit parents say: volume 2.

Crosby turned 7 months old this past weekend, which is crazy, exciting, bittersweet, etcetera etcetera. I thought 6 months was great, but 7 takes the cake.  It’s so true what everyone keeps telling us, it just keeps getting better and better.  Crosby smiles and giggles more every single day.  He still hasn’t mastered sitting but he is army crawling like a boss.  He babbles adorably and hits Mariah Carey-decibel high notes when he screeches.  He is interacting with the dogs more than ever, though the dogs aren’t really fans of his grabby hands.  They ARE, however, fans of his grubby hands, and of all the food he drops on the floor from the high chair as we explore the world of solids.

I could blubber on and on about how cool my little man is.  But for y’alls sake, I won’t.  Instead, in honor of this milestone, I bring you another edition of “shit parents say”.  These are just a few of the ridiculous things Casey and I have found ourselves saying over the past few months.  No surprise, still lots of talk of poop, boobs and toots.  Basically all the double o’s. (<—- Which could probably be added to the list…. )

So here we go!  shit parents say: volume dos.

“I found a piece of my hair in his dirty diaper, should I be concerned?”

“I just want to eat his face with a spoon!”

“What happened to the Baby Einstein Pandora station?”

“OMG buddy, I could have sworn you pooped but I guess it was just a really bad fart.”  (said by Casey almost every single day while checking Crosby’s diaper.)

“Make sure to wash his hands really well, I’m pretty sure he was carrying around a booger all day.”

“Sometimes I feel like if I let you look at my boobs, then I’m cheating on Crosby.”

“Who cares what I’m wearing… what’s Crosby going to wear??”

“Make sure to wipe under his balls, there is always poop caught up there.”

“There’s a piece of carrot in his ear.  He had carrot 2 days ago.”

(at bedtime) “Ok Cros, time to put on your pjizzles!  ….Wait….that definitely doesn’t sound right.”

“My boobs are exhausted.”
The end.
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Happy 7 months, baby guy.  I love you times a million.  But for your sake, I hope you never read this. xo
And in case you missed it, read shit parents say: volume 1 here.

shit parents say: volume 1.

IMG_3947Hi buddies!  TGIF and stuff.  To kick off the weekend, I thought I’d share some quotes from the front lines of parenthood.  As a mama of a newborn, it’s ridiculous the things that come out of my mouth sometimes.  What’s more ridiculous is how accustomed both Casey and I have become to talking about certain things.  SO, I decided it was time to document some of the shit we’ve said since becoming parents, you know, for future reference.  Some of these are embarrassing, others are funny, and all of them are #parentingforreal.

You’re welcome.  I’m sorry.  God bless.

Here we go!

“Oh man, I have poop under my fingernail again.”

“I’m supposed to pump until my boobs get floppy.”

“I can’t wait to tell our baby that I was his first french kiss.”

“See this spot on my shirt? It’s either breastmilk, poop, or yogurt.”

“Did he poop or fart?  Check with your hand.”

“Where is my lactation tea?!”

“Make sure the dog doesn’t eat his poop again.”

“I just poked him in the eye with my nipple.”

“It looked like peanut butter.  Light green peanut butter.”

“My right boob is 5 times the size of my left right now.”

(while applying diaper cream) “I think I just accidentally gave him a boner.”

The end.

Are we still friends?

Feel free to share some of your parent-isms below.  And happy weekend!