Weeks: 31 weeks
Baby is the size of: A pineapple! I’ve been waiting this whole pregnancy for the baby to be the size of a pineapple. I feel very accomplished this week.
Weight gain: [pig snout emoji]
Cravings: Maybe it’s because it’s hotter than shit outside or maybe it’s a craving, but I can’t stop with the ice cream. Such a cliché. A delicious, magical cliché. I like to think that I’m craving the calcium. Just go with it.
Sleep: Ugh, getting worse and worse. Every sleep position is uncomfortable even though I’m surrounded by eleventeen pillows. This gut is just.so.big. It’s like sleeping after eating 17 Thanksgiving meals. So… any sleep suggestions for these last 9 weeks would be moderately to severely appreciated.
Movement: The baby has taken up hiccuping at least 3-5 times a day. You’d think the amniotic fluid was made of Coors Lite at the rate that this kid hiccups. #lightweight
Symptoms: The cankles are in full effect, my friends. Especially in this heat wave we’ve been having. I point them out regularly to Casey, who then lovingly refers to me as Professor Klump. Perhaps I should start incorporating pics of my canks in these bumpdates, so you can all follow along on the slow disappearance of my ankle bones.
Missing: The second trimester. Those were the glory days.
Happenings: I lost a blueberry down my bra all day yesterday. I felt it fall in when I took a bite out of my breakfast in the morning, tried to fish it out, failed, went on with my day, got home and changed into a sports bra to go for a walk, and out fell that blueberry. And then Gus ate it. I should probably get used to small creatures consuming things that come out my bra.
…you know… a lot of these bumpdates consist of me talking about the crappy or weird parts of being preg. And while there definitely are some crappy and weird parts, they definitely don’t represent how I feel about this pregnancy overall. So today I feel compelled to type out loud, that I kinda love being pregnant… and I am genuinely ecstatically excited to meet this little womb dweller. To be perfectly honest (and here’s the part where every other pregnant woman can go ahead and hate me) I’ve had a really easy pregnancy. My symptoms and side effects have been minor, and although I come back here every few weeks to chat about cankles and belly hair, I honestly wouldn’t change my experience for anything.
What I’m trying to say is, pregnancy (for me) has been amazing. I’ve loved every second of it. And I want to remember that. I also want to remember that right now at this very moment I have a shooting pain of fire going through my right boob. So maybe I should just shut my pie-hole and stop jinxing myself with all this “easy pregnancy” talk.
Bumpdate #9, over and out.