So far in Casey and my 2.5 years of marriage and 5 years of dating, we’ve never had a Christmas tree together. We usually have eleventeen celebrations to go to during Christmas week and since teleporters don’t exist yet, we generally spent a majority of our holiday time traveling from shindig to shindig. Apparently real Christmas trees are super needy so it’s never made sense for us to get a tree and leave it neglected for most of Christmas. In an effort to not be a complete grinch, I usually fashion together some resemblance of tree-type decor, which in the past has looked a little something like this:
But that ALL changed this year. THIS year we’re staying in Portland for the holidays, and while I’m super super bummed to not be with family, the silver lining is a big glorious yummy-smelly Christmas tree that is currently taking up 1/4 of our living room/dining room/apartment/life. We had a true Christmas tree-cutting experience when we went into the wilderness (ok a tree farm) and chopped that sucker down. We also had a true Griswold experience when we attempted to tie 2 slightly large Christmas trees to the top of our friend’s Honda Civic. And then we went a little further into idiocy and forgot to open the doors to the car before tying the trees on, an oopsies that we finally realized when we got to tying off the fourth door. The result was 3 doors that were tied shut, 4 adults climbing through the backseat/windows of a car, multiple awkward looks from fellow tree-goers, and a partridge in a pear tree.
But we finally made it home with our grand fir tree and after 30 minutes of finagling, we got that baby firmly grounded in it’s new tree stand home. I should now mention that up until that point we collectively had 3 ornaments – when you never have a tree to decorate you tend to not accumulate them. Who knew? We quickly realized that we needed to invest in some ornaments that could truly enhance the beauty of our tree. So on Sunday we got all dolled up and made a trip to the dollar store… and 30 minutes later we walked out of that joint with over $11 worth of fine holiday trimmery and a slightly expired Mountain Dew… and approximately one hour later we returned to said dollar store to exchange our decorations. We realized after leaving with our fancy finds and walking around for 5 minutes that every single one of our ornaments in our bag seemed to be (for lack of a better word) defecating glitter all over us, causing us to look like a couple of Lisa Frank stickers. Let it be known that I hate glitter with a passion, I consider it to be the chlamydia of the crafting world. Eventually we exchanged those glitter bombs, got home to decorate, and the rest is history:
It has yet to be seen how Gus will fully react to the tree. We tried to keep ornaments off of the first few feet of the tree but that does not stop him from jumping up and trying to eat them. For now he’s settling on eating just the pine needles. Which definitely does not, if you’re wondering, does not make his big potty smell piney-fresh.