It’s 3:01 and so far today I’ve drank more than half a gallon of water. Which means that my legs have been permanently crossed all day. Even when I’m walking. ….. And guess what? I still have another half gallon to go! Casey and I started a 10-day cleanse today and one of the “guidelines” is to drink a gallon of water a day. Let me repeat: 10 gallons in 10 days. Which, if you’re curious, is 83.5 POUNDS of water. I basically have to drink a 6th grader by next Wednesday. This is not a simple task guys.
You know when you drink too much and you can hear the liquid sloshing in your belly? And you know when you hear water running (and sloshing) and it makes you have to pee even more? Yah, so. I’ve also had “cry me a river” stuck in my head all day which is just another catalyst… Basically it’s a viscous cycle of drinking, sloshing, peeing, repeat. All the minutes of all the days.
We also have to choke down this really narsty fiber packet in the morning that resembles OJ pulp but tastes like wet sandpaper. And we have to take a medley of horse pills throughout the day. And our diet can only consist of fruits, veggies and eggs. And we can’t have caffeine or booze. But you know what the worst part is? Not any of the above. The worst part is actually that we can’t have any dairy. AKA NO CHEESE! I’m dying already. I consider cheese a very dear friend. The truth is, I would actually love to eliminate dairy from my diet altogether but it’s literally, physically and emotionally impossible for me to give up cheese. Can’t do it. Also, yesterday I was convinced that eggs were considered dairy, which Casey thought was extremely hilarious. I’m still not so sure…
But we’re paying a pretty penny to willingly put ourselves through this misery, so I really need to stop complaining. And in all honesty it couldn’t have come at a better time because we just hosted another friend this past weekend and we basically ate and drank ourselves into oblivion, all weekend long. It was like we were anticipating the next 10 days and we needed to store up for winter. Twas a great weekend though and I’ll tell you more about it later!
That’s probably enough about my bladder for one day, right? I mean, I could go on and on but I fear I may pee mah pants if I sit here too much longer. So! Here are some random pics of me and my boys from last week. When I wasn’t carrying a water baby. Ahhh, the good old days.